I need to pass my driving test so I've been trying to apply the law of attraction. But when I make mistakes again and again its hard to keep my thoughts positive. Still, I really think there is something to this....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ze5GNlYils&feature=related

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What is your idea of perfect happiness? I don't know.

What is your greatest fear? The fear inside me.
Which historical figure do you most identify with? None of them, I'm not good enough to identify with them yet.
Which living person do you most admire? Not one, bits from lots of different people. Nobody's perfect but they have perfect streaks to them.


What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Slowness.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? Lying.


What is your greatest extravagance? The  internet: networking sites, i should be studying & working :p

What is your favorite journey?A mental journey, through learning new info & gaining new insight. Which ultimately is lead by the heart, therefore and emotional journey that I am mapping.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Fame.

On what occasion do you lie? Not much, unless I'm feeling naughty.
What do you dislike most about your appearance? My nose....it's weird.

Which living person do you most despise? Nobody

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?1."Oh!!" "Yeah" and "Shit".

What is your greatest regret? Time.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? Information.

Which talent would you most like to have? Tap dance.

What is your current state of mind? Rushed, have a driving lesson soon.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?  that some of them weren't so fucked up with an attitude problem. And the others that they live in another country.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Being sensible.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? It would have to be a dolphin.
If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? Myself

What is your most treasured possession? necklace
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?Inability to conversate with oneself

Where would you like to live? London. Or having the entire universe as my home ;)


What is your favorite occupation? Laughing

What is your most marked characteristic? My eyes perhaps

What is the quality you most like in a man? Love and Honesty and a passion/belief in something.
What is the quality you most like in a woman? the same.


What do you most value in your friends? Help.

Who are your favorite writers? Whoever is writing my life(even if it's me), Vonnegut, Kundera, Orwell.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? I have a hero of non-fiction, Anne Frank.

Who are your heroes in real life? Anyone who is brave enough to live like themselves

What are your favorite names? Fucker.

What is it that you most dislike? Time.

How would you like to die? I'd like to die with a sword through me, in the arms of the one that I love.

What is your motto? Love....

I'm excited & apprehensive: intelligent, educated, skilled, creative, thoughtful, attractive & young. My good points need honing &  there are enough personal blips to contend with too. But I will never let anybody take advantage of my weaknesses or my strengths, instead I will use both to my advantage.
For the first time in my life I feel free, I know more now about who I am and I'm ready to put pen to paper...

Fell inlove, it was illogical and crazy. A few years down the line he repels me, yet the state of my obsession still intrigues me. How now can I today see what then was too far from view. How does anybody? It's the journey of my life so far that has taught me. Love can be a dream and the more you travel towards it one day you may see it was a mirage of something once longed for. What you reach is as vast, deep & wild as the sea. But you can never drink from it for your unrelenting thirst. All one can do is enjoy the beauty and mystery of the mirage. And that, is a river that flows back to you...
Soundtrack:  Morrissey,That's How People Grow Up.

I wish to feel more carefree strong, mature & happy not so serious and worried...& shy. It will take time. It never seems to get me far, worrying all the time. I've just got to accept being: me. And to be strong.
I had a dream in which a private tutor was me and her pupil was an unruly, obstinate little girl who wanted to run off. This little girl was also me.  It was night and we were outside. The teacher said, 'Come back inside!'  The girl said no I don't like the screams in the house! She struggled and ran off to this dark garden area to play. It was night and the garden was magical because white/grey fluffy clouds hovered over the grass. But to get there the girl had to walk past a graveyard, yet she wasn't in the slightest bit scared.
I thought the child to be a rather morbid, solemn child. Then woke up and realised she was the dark forces within me...

Stop lecturing at society with your twinkle namastes and vegan prayers.

Sceptism, spoiled, sneers and disdainful hatred, cease looking back with 'poor lost soul'  superior stares.

Shut up about light vs darkness, a dirty detriment to a virtuous heart. We all need the night as much as the day, everyone grows from the demons they slay.

Sweet, hippy cosmic cult it is not.  Better for human health is analytical, humorous and brutal truth. Cut the crap of the wide-eyed fay.

Scolding needs to be told. Heaven is a myth and boring. Any right-thinking would get there and bolt.

Searing it  is to witness the delusions of magic miracles of picnics in peace. To have the heart of a child is fine but not to hide from having the mind of an adult.

So stop imposing on others your self-righteous beliefs. Here exists an ordinary, selfish, flawed carnivore surviving day-to-day.

There must be a way to adapt for the environment....

for lizard grrrl

pain in different contexts....

engaging heart & mind of individuals